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SHAH ALAM, 23 Mei (Bernama) — Mahkamah Tinggi di sini hari ini mendapati bekas peguam N. Pathmanabhan dan tiga pekerja ladangnya bersalah membunuh jutawan kosmetik Datuk Sosilawati Lawiya dan tiga individu lain tiga tahun lepas, dan dijatuhi hukuman gantung sampai mati.
Hakim Datuk Akhtar Tahir memutuskan sedemikian selepas berpuas hati bahawa pihak pembelaan gagal menimbulkan keraguan munasabah terhadap kes pendakwaan.
Pathmanabhan serta tiga pekerja ladang iaitu T. Thilaiyalagan, R. Matan dan R. Kathavarayan didakwa membunuh Sosilawati, 47, pegawai bank Noorhisham Mohamad, 38, peguam Ahmad Kamil Abdul Karim, 32, dan pemandu Sosilawati, Kamaruddin Shamsuddin, 44.
Pathmanabhan, 43, Thilaiyalagan, 21, Matan, 22, dan Kathavarayan, 33, didakwa melakukan perbuatan itu di Lot 2001, Jalan Tanjong Layang, Tanjung Sepat di Banting antara pukul 8.30 malam dan 9.45 malam pada 30 Ogos 2010.
Mereka didakwa mengikut Seksyen 302 Kanun Keseksaan dan dibaca bersama Seksyen 34 Kanun sama yang memperuntukkan hukuman mati mandatori, jika sabit kesalahan.
Barisan pendakwaan diwakili Timbalan Pendakwa Raya Ishak Mohd Yusoff, Saiful Edris Zainuddin dan Idham Abd Ghani sementara Pathmanabhan diwakili peguam Manjeet Singh Dhillon dan Pushpa Ratnam, Thilaiyalagan diwakili Gurbachan Singh, Matan diwakili peguam Amer Hamzah Arshad manakala Kathavarayan diwakili peguam Hasshahari Johari Mawi.
Justice Akhtar: Intention to finish off Sosilawati, others at wrong place wrong time
SHAH ALAM (The Star): One of the motives for the murder of Datuk Sosilawati Lawiya is former lawyer N Pathmanabhan’s inability to honour a cheque issued to her, Justice Akhtar Tahir said in his judgement.
“Pathmanabhan testified that he appeared for both Sosilawati and (politician) Rahman Palil (a name mentioned during the defence trial) in the same deal and by doing so he was caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.
“It was his (Pathmanabhan) testimony that he was reluctant to organise a meeting involving both of them when requested for such a meeting.
“When pushed to the corner, as what happened to Pathmanabhan in this case, he took the easy route of eliminating one of the persons and unfortunately it happened to be Sosilawati.
“The rest who accompanied Sosilawati were just at the wrong place at the wrong time,” he said.
Sosilawati, 47, her driver Kamaruddin Shamsuddin, 44, bank officer Noorhisham Mohamad, 38, and lawyer Ahmad Kamil Abdul Karim, 32, were reported missing after they went to Banting for a land deal. Their disappearance made headlines nationwide.
The judge found Pathmanabhan, 43, and farm hands T. Thilaiyalagan, 21, R. Matan, 22 and R. Kathavarayan, 33, guilty of murdering Sosilawati and the others at Lot 2001, Jalan Tanjung Layang, Tanjung Sepat, Banting, between 8.30pm and 9.45pm on Aug 30, 2010.
Justice Akhtar noted that the case was unlike others where no dead bodies were recovered.
“The only other case of a similar nature was the case of Singaporean Sunny Ang where the accused was convicted despite the body of victim not found,” he added.
He said the court did not see a reason why the accused in this case cannot be convicted merely because no bodies were recovered.
“The evidence in this case satisfies the ingredients required to prove a charge of murder.
“The four accused had caused the death of Sosilawati and her aides and they only had one intention to do so, that is to cause the deaths intentionally with full knowledge of their actions,” he said.
GE13: Seven Malaysians voters assaulted after being accused as foreigners
Lagi “demo-kerasi” ala gangster chauvinist … Petikan Rakaman “Pengundi-pengundi Hantu” Yang Ditangkap (VIDEO)
(dipetik dari The Star)
KUALA TERENGGANU: Seven men were roughed up during polling day at SK Ladang here after supporters of a political party accused the group of being “phantom voters” from Bangladesh.
Police said three of them were held captive until the end of the polling period and were not able to cast their votes.
The bullied group, of Indian ethnicity and locals, had studied at a university here previously and were registered voters in Kuala Terengganu.
They were said to have come from other states to cast their ballots.
The party supporters, however, were not convinced they were Malaysians and acted roughly on the seven men.
One of the supporters allegedly held a parang to one of the victims’ neck.
Three of the voters, however, were said to have come to the wrong place at SK Ladang to vote when they were supposed to vote at SK Sultan Sulaiman 2.
“The party supporters became suspicious and acted violently against the three men,” said Terengganu police chief Datuk Jamshah Mustapayesterday.
“The three eventually were not able to cast their votes as they were held captive by the supporters until polling time was over,” added Jamshah.
He said the police had yet to identify the alleged bullies.
Meanwhile, a 30-year-old self-employed man from Manir, near here, was sentenced to a day’s jail and fined RM3,000 for hurting two men who were also mistaken as phantom voters.
The victims, both aged 26, were on their way home from voting in Teluk Pasu when several supporters stopped them and brought them to their tent.
The accused punched the two men while questioning the victims at the tent.
Since the dissolution of the last parliament, 53 election-related problems have been reported and police have made charges in seven cases.
Jamshah said overall, the police were pleased that the election period had gone smoothly without major problems.
Apakah ini sikap vigilante chauvinist? Atau sikap kebiadapan melampau?
Sila ke link ini: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=330534527075562
While working on my desk my daughter called me down saying the postman wanted to talk to me at the front gate. As I walked down the stairs I wonder it could not be something that I need to sign for the delivery as it almost lunch time then.
Marzuki Sudin, our regular neighborhood postman, is ever cheerful and friendly. He would say a word or two if he meets us in front while doing his delivery. He would not hesitate to wait a little longer for the house owners to get down to the gate to receive and sign the registered mail or parcel, especially for our ladies who would need to put up the necessary tudung first. Unlike many other delivery service, after pressing the gate bell a couple of times they would just leave a note for us to take their part of the delivery finding whereabout their centre are.
Marzuki would have done his round for our street by 11:00 – 11:30 am – except on a rainy day it may take more time for him to finish his round. So he would have done his round around our neighborhood by midday.
Greeting with his regular smile, as usual, and asking his typical question of how I was or that I did not go out to work. He later asked me if I know of our neighbour whose house is at the end of the street behind ours. He explained his concerned that it has been 3 days that the house gate is half opened and the car is parked in the compound but the letter he delivered had never been retrieved from the mail box.
I responded with yes and I know for the fact that she leaves alone in the house and a luxury car. His concerned is if something bad happened and wondering if I could help to check out. She has a cousin whose house is on the same street as mine and his house is almost about behind her house.
I assured Marzuki that I would check out and informed shortly as I was only in my kain pelikat, I would rather be more prepared and properly dressed. As he leaves with concerned in his face, I assured him that I will call him first once I know the situation. I quickly ran upstairs to change and asked my eldest daughter to come along to accompany so as not cause any unwanted concerned by the others.
After observing the situation of the house I called my neighbor’s cousin whom I am very close with, we even bought the same MPV and same color just several weeks apart. Caught unaware, he said he will call her and find out. As I walked around the house to the back while waiting for an update, I found nothing specifically looks like the house has been broken in.
Finally a call came back and confirmed everything was alright, that she left the house hastily 3 days ago when her elder brother was admitted in ICU on life-support machine back in hometown. She must have wrongly pressed the newly installed auto-gate and did not realised that it was half opened. She was already on the way back to KL about to board the plane.
The concerned postman was most happy and relieved to received my call as soon I ascertained the situation.
Feeling grateful to Allah, nothing bad happened in my neighborhood and that we have such an exemplary postman who is observant and concerned of the surrounding. Though Marzuki Sudin may not be reading this posting, I hope someone in the Pos Malaysia would somehow recommend this exemplary staff of a “trusted” organisation. Malaysia need more of these people.
p.s. maybe during his next delivery, we would try to catch a photo of him candidly… and update this post.
dari – firstname.lastname@example.org
SHAH ALAM – Taktik licik dua beradik warga emas berketurunan Cina bukan Islam yang menyamar sebagai pengemis Muslim bagi menagih simpati pengunjung sebuah Bazar Ramadan di sini terbongkar dengan penahanan mereka kelmarin.
Kedua-dua wanita berusia 65 dan 63 tahun itu ditahan oleh pegawai Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat (JKM) Selangor ketika mereka mengemis di Bazar Ramadan Seksyen 13 di sini dengan memakai jubah dan bertudung labuh.
Siasatan awal JKM mendapati kedua-dua beradik berasal dari Cheras, Kuala Lumpur itu mula mengemis sejak awal Ramadan.
Mereka dipercayai memperoleh pendapatan sekitar RM300 sehari.
Pengarah JKM Selangor, Nik Omar Nik Abd. Rahman berkata, kedua-dua wanita itu turut menipu kerana mereka merupakan penerima bantuan JKM sebanyak RM300 seorang setiap bulan.
Beliau berkata, mereka ditahan selepas menukar seluar dan baju biasa yang mereka pakai dengan jubah dan tudung labuh yang mereka bawa di sebuah tandas berdekatan.
“Ketika ditahan, mereka cuba memberi alasan menggunakan hasil jualan tisu berharga RM1 sepeket kepada orang ramai untuk menyara anak mereka yang sedang terlantar sakit.
“Malangnya, apabila pihak kami menyuruh mereka mengucap dua kalimah syahadat bagi membuktikan mereka orang Islam, kedua-duanya tidak tahu.
“Yang sebenarnya, pengunjung Bazar Ramadan tidak beli pun tisu mereka sebaliknya terus beri duit kepada kedua-dua pengemis itu,” katanya.
After my little brother, Ahmad Ali posted his blog posts on Bersih 3.0, he had received a number of comments from Bersih supporters disagreeing with him. But of course, that is expected since not everyone sees eye to eye with each other on everything. We all have our own opinions, and we are free to voice it out as long as we say it politely and willing to respect the opinions of others too. The comments are nicely written, explaining in detail why they do not agree with him. They are being polite and assertive; as how it should be in a healthy discussion. I find it interesting to how he answered them and that among others helps him to think beyond his age.
On the other hand, my little sister received two shocking comments from a reader of her blog. What my sister did was simply stating her point of view on this whole affair but as the result, she was labelled as a ‘typical BN’ and was insulted further by the accusation that she was paid by the Barisan Nasional(BN). The question now is what happened to the ‘freedom of speech’ the Bersih 3.0 demonstrators were fighting for? They wanted the press freedom in the mainstream media (meaning the freedom of speech) but the very person who went to the street fighting for freedom of speech insulted my sister just because of her different opinion. If they believe that ‘freedom of speech’ is only about agreeing with what they think is right, then they are what they claimed how the BN government is.
I used to have very high respects for the oppositions leaders and supported the first Bersih but the current events changed my mind. Now I do not understand what Bersih and the oppositions are really fighting for. And what happened during and after Bersih 3.0, including the attitudes of the Bersih 3.0′s demonstrators makes me even wonder what their true intentions are. Clean and free election and press freedom? I was sad to read an article in one of the main alternative media entitled, ‘Kereta polis meluru laju, langgar peserta BERSIH’, which twisted the incident while everyone (who cares to find the truth) can clearly see that the man (as shown in the picture of the article) jumped up onto the car to attack the car and he was not hit by the car as reported. Since that article was from a media which was regarded as unbiased and ‘clean’ by Bersih and the oppositions; their supporters just swallowed the story and refuse to watch various videos on YouTube (maybe claiming those videos has been edited by BN) to see how the accident really happened. Even a demonstrator who was near the Dataran Merdeka during the incident would says that, “I was there” hence I know what really happened- even though the accident happened in front of Sogo. If this is an example of press freedom that they are fighting for, then they are just as bad as how they claimed BN to be. Please listen to Micheal Jackson’s ‘Man In The Mirror’, first look at our faults and changed before telling others to do so. As my little brother wrote in his post, Bersih 3.0 Violence – The End Justifies The Means? two wrongs don’t make a right.
On my previous post I had included a video of Mr. Benji Lim’s outburst in the middle of a press conference. It is clear that he was trying to voice out his opinion that the Bersih 3.0 demonstration had been ‘hijacked’ by the oppositions who turned it into a political event and endangered the lives of the demonstrators. What happened to him after the outburst? He had been forced out of the press conference by two men clearly against his will for his last words were, “I am a citizen too”. Again, what had happened to the ‘freedom of speech’ that they are fighting for? And I wonder what will they say if the same incident happens during the prime minister’s press conference?
Freedom of speech means that everybody is free to say what ever they want to say; hence we cannot dictate others to say what we want them to say. So it seems like the ‘press freedom’ that Bersih is fighting for is nothing about the freedom of speech but it is all about reporting what ever they wish, no matter if it is a white lie as long as it is them who lie. Thus, I think that a complete freedom (in all aspect of our life) would only result in anarchy and chaos. There need to be rules to guide us, so that we’ll always be on the right path. Of course, the person who commented on my sister’s blog may claim that it is her right to accuse and insult anyone. And soon smokers would be demanding to smoke in the ‘non-smoking’ areas. And someone may say that this article must be written by another ‘typical BN’
The writer, Aiman Amani says: I am 17 and among my hobbies are sketching, writing, collecting stamps, coins, bank notes, stickers and seashells. And my blog is where I write about myself, things that goes on around me or things that I wish to share with everyone
I received two comments for my post, ‘Bersih 3.0… A peaceful demonstration?’ saying:
were you there AA … why are you lying about things you did not see….everything was peaceful until police started gassing people…peaceful marchers….you are typical BN …just put your side of pictures on the media…LIARS..I was there. The police were the thugs.”
“Tell us why a police car ran into the crowd …a boy has been warded because of this….how dare you twist the story…how much did they pay you?”
Please read: ‘We would have stayed peaceful if they haven’t sprayed us-Bersih 3.0 supporters.’ I wrote the above post to answer the above comments with video showing what happened before and after the incident.
Those comments really caught my attention. I am not a Barisan Nasional (BN) member; infact I am not even a BN’s supporter (after what happened, nor am I a Pakatan Rakyat’s supporter, either). I did not write the article (or any other articles) on BN’s instruction. I am just writing my point of view about the demonstration as a peace loving citizen of Malaysia. So, why should BN pay me? It is sad that there are people who sacrificed their time, comfort and safety to join a street demonstration to fight for a clean and free election when they actually do not understand what is freedom of speech. Now it makes me wonder, what exactly are the demonstrators demonstrating for?
The police were the thugs???
I also want a clean and fair election, even though I am not eligible to vote at 14 years old. Bersih is free to fight for a good cause but my complain is, why must they held a street demonstrations and disobey the law? And after looking at how the crowd provoked the police on the night before the event, I asked myself if all the demonstrators really wanted Bersih 3.0 rally to be peaceful?Please read: ‘Bersih 3.0:In Videos-Police Brutality/Video Keganasan Polis?’
I was accused as a ‘typical BN’. So, for some of the Bersih 3.0 violent street rally demonstrators, those who do not agree with them are the ‘typical BN’ or paid by BN. And anyone who is sensible enough not to support the violant acts done by the demonstrators are BN supporters? Even my little brother understands that, ‘matlamat tidak akan menghalalkan cara’, Please read his blog post: Bersih 3.0 Violence – The End Justifies The Means? Odd… I thought that they are demonstrating for a fair and clean election and not for ‘Anti-Barisan Nasional’. Or are BN’s member right when they claim that Bersih 3.0 is actually the oppossitions’ rally?
Now, what did those plants do to justify their conditions after the event? Are they supporting BN or did they help BN and SPR to cheat in the past elections? Or maybe they are PDRM’s agents who provoked the demonstrators that started the riot; I wonder….
A fair and clean election means no cheating during the elections. If they claim that BN cheated in the pasts elections, so why did the opposition party that was accused to cheat in their own party elections by their own members and ex-leaders was also leading the rally? If the PR leads the country, can we be sure that all the elections are clean and free? But for some Bersih demonstrators, no other political party cheats but BN; so those who were not satisfied were paid by BN…….
So what exactly is Bersih 3.0 demonstration was all about? A fight for a clean and fair election… or was it an ‘Anti-Barisan Nasional’ demonstration?
The writer, Aeshah Adlina, 14, says: I was born on the 6th of November. I have 4 siblings. I am the second in my family. I live in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I am currently home-schooling. My favourite colours are pink, lavender and celeste. My hobbies are writing stories, reading books, and collecting stamps. I like to eat chili con carne very much.
Bersih 3.0 was promised to be a peaceful rally but things turned ugly when the protesters went violent, broke the rules and even acted brutally towards the police. As the dust began to settle, a new question sparked, who is to be blamed?
The protesters blamed the police for the the unrest caused. They claimed that the police violent act of spraying water and shooting tear gas to the crowd sparked anger among them thus caused them to retaliate with force. But according to several videos posted on the internet, the police only shot after the protesters broke the barricades. Isn’t it what the police should have done, control the crowd and keep them from getting out of control? Surely the PDRM (Royal Malaysian Police) do not want to be blame if things got really out of control like what happened in London between 6th to 10th August 2011.
Let us look back at what the DAP vice-chairman Senator Tunku Abdul Aziz Tunku Ibrahim had mentioned in a news conference before the rally took place, by not using the locations offered by the police, the leaders of the rally were “encouraging the people to break the law” – The Star Online (DAP vice-chairman against rally (Update)) 26th April 2012.
Or is there any possibility that the violence is actually intended? The leaders of the rally claimed that they condemn the act of the protesters who broke the barriers blocking the road to Dataran Merdeka. But did they mean it? The opposition leader, Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim had been caught on video communicating with PKR deputy president, Azmin Ali and another man (who some had claimed to recognise him as a PKR Seremban member) using hand gestures just before the man pushed the metal gate blocking the road. Does this suggest that the two PKR leaders instigated the crowd to go against the police? Please watch the video below:
Even if (as the both PKR leaders claimed) they didn’t instigated the breach, why couldn’t Anwar, as the leader, use the megaphone to call back his people? Why wasn’t there any such effort made? And why did he left the scene at that critical moment? If he knew the police would act violently, why didn’t he step down and protect his people? Why did he let his supporters down and let them walked into danger by themselves? No wonder Mr. Benji Lim expressed his anger during the PKR press conference yesterday.
Had they really wanted to organise a peaceful assembly, why couldn’t they agree with the police and settle for a stadium? In a stadium, it is much easier to control a large crowd and there is a less chances of starting violence within the assembly. With the crowd being led away from public roads and private buildings, tourists would not be scared off and this would not disrupt the sales of the shops around the city area as well; thus causing less unrest and possible damage caused. Why are they insisting on using the Dataran Medeka when the police rejects their request for their own safety? Or do they has hidden plans as been said, debated and discussed around the social media.
As a free citizen of a peaceful, democratic country, I wouldn’t want my country to be ruled by unruly mobs who would in the end cause insecurity as what happened in Egypt, Libya and several more during the Arab Spring.
The writer, Aiman Amani says: I am 17 and among my hobbies are sketching, writing, collecting stamps, coins, bank notes, stickers and seashells. And my blog is where I write about myself, things that goes on around me or things that I wish to share with everyone
My very dear young Muslim brothers and sisters I have something of extreme importance to talk to you about. I want to tell you some things about boy-girl relationships, sex, and marriage. I know these are very personal and delicate matters for discussion, but given how essential they are to your life, to the whole Muslim Ummah, and to the future of Islam as our way of life these are matters we must discuss. In Islam it has been made very clear as to what is acceptable and what is not acceptable between males and females who are not married to each other, so if all was going well in this critical area of life I wouldn’t need to say anything; but, all is not going well. Please know what I am going to say to you I say only because I love Islam and I care so very much about the future safety, happiness, and success in the lives of all of you although we may have never met.
From what I have been reading, from what parents have been telling me, and from what has been confirmed in discussions with many young Muslim brothers and sisters from countries all across the world it has become clear that more and more young Muslims are not following the guidelines for relationships between boys and girls so clearly set out in Islam. What Islam says is right is easy to remember because we are told that before marriage there is to be virtually no contact at all between males and females. In today’s world, while still a minority, an increasing number of young Muslims are having relationships with members of the opposite sex that are clearly outside the limits set by Islam. These relationships beyond the limits of Islam range from seemingly innocent friendships, to boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, all the way to the complete sexual relationship that has been made right by Allah only for those who are married to each other.
Do you think Allah has said there should be virtually no relationship at all between unmarried males and females because He doesn’t want you to have fun? No, Allah has set the rules for right relationships between males and females because He knows for sure what is best for you as an individual and what is best for His Ummah. Allah wants you to have a good time and enjoy the wonderful pleasures of male-female relationships, including the sexual relationship, but He knows you can only experience the greatest joy, and suffer no harm, if you keep your relationships, particularly the sexual relationship, within the necessary guidelines of the right way of life He has given us.
Tough Times for Young Muslims
As you read this message I ask you to keep an open mind until you evaluate everything I have to say. In all parts of our lives we must be sure that what we get is worth what we have to pay. In something so tempting as sexual pleasure there are few who objectively weigh the full costs against those brief moments of gratification. By ‘sexual pleasure’ I mean all the aspects, including the emotional aspect, that lead up to the full expression of the sexual relationship. Allah has placed within both males and females an extremely strong desire to pair off as couples and eventually experience the full sexual relationship. So the feelings of desire for a close relationship with a member of the opposite sex you might be having are entirely natural as it is Allah’s Will that you feel those desires so strongly.
When we look at animal behaviour we see that animals take their sexual pleasure whenever and wherever they can. This is how Allah ensures the continued survival of their species. Never forget that human beings are not animals, so although we have bodies quite similar to animal bodies, and basic needs quite similar to the needs of animals, we relate to our bodies and our needs as beings who have had a God consciousness breathed into us by Allah when we were still in our mother’s womb. This special spiritual nature provides us with many wonderful benefits, but it also presents us with some very serious responsibilities.
These benefits and responsibilities show up quite clearly in relation to the desire for sexual pleasure placed within us by Allah. The benefit is that human beings can experience a level of sustained deep emotional bonding and sexual pleasure far beyond the ability of any animal, but the responsibility is to direct our sexual desires only in the manner set out as the right way of life for us by Allah. Sexual pleasure is only to be experienced between a man and woman married to each other; sometimes this is for the purpose of bringing new human spiritual beings into the world and sometimes it is to allow the ecstasy and the intimacy of the sexual relationship to bond the married man and woman together so strongly as a family, who will be able to raise a new generation of good and right Muslim children within that family, that they become invulnerable to the forces of evil that might attempt to tear the family unit apart.
Most young Muslims in the world today have been heavily influenced by a highly sexualized society around them which says, “Look at the many Western teens or non-Muslim teens in Islamic nations who know no rules except to experience as much pleasure as possible, and who don’t worry about the consequences.” It would be virtually impossible as a young Muslim teen to see the many hundreds of times when unmarried teens are portrayed as boyfriends and girlfriends enjoying the pleasures of sex in movies, songs, and stories from the entertainment of the Western world without having the thought cross your mind something like, “Hey, that looks like fun, if they are doing it why shouldn’t I do it too.” Well, I would like to make sure you know what comes along with what has been called “free sex,” because it turns out that sex isn’t free after all, and the cost is going to probably be much more than you would be willing to pay – if you knew what the true cost was.
First, what are the benefits? Well, you might get a relationship with member of the opposite sex that could take away some of the personal loneliness so common in today’s world; you might get to be seen by your peers (if they don’t know better) as someone who is modern and cool; you might feel you are breaking out of restrictions imposed on you by a religion and culture that you didn’t choose for yourself; you might feel not left out if many others around you are doing the same thing; it might make you feel better about yourself knowing someone ‘really’ likes you; and, of course there is the obvious fun and physical pleasure that naturally comes from experiencing the various aspects of the intimate and sexual relationship.
Some of those benefits result in the fulfillment of natural human desires, even if done wrongfully; but, some of those so-called benefits have been conditioned into your thinking against your will by the wrongful influences of the secular materialist society that exists outside the Muslim Ummah. If you ever find yourself experiencing envy of the ‘freedom’ and the lifestyle of the American teens as portrayed in the media please ask yourself this question and answer it honestly. “Who do you think is better equipped to make decisions about what is a right way to live, the average American teen who has never even heard of Allah and Islam, or you who are a Muslim teen who has been Blessed with the opportunity to at least know of Allah’s existence and to understand a little bit about the Islam He gave us as the right way of life? If you don’t know that you are much better qualified than the average godless, pleasure seeking American teen to know right from wrong then you had better start using that wonderful brain Allah put in your head a little better.
The Real Price of a Kiss
Now let me list some of the costs of those early intimate and sometimes sexual relationships experienced before you are married and it all becomes lawful to you. The list might seem a bit long, but that’s because the costs are many. Be honest in your judgment as you read of these costs and see if I am being fair and truthful with you in all that I say. I will be presenting the costs of relationships that have gone as far as full sexual behaviour, but even if you haven’t gone that far, which I pray you haven’t, many of these costs must be paid for the relationship whether there was sex or not. These costs are not being presented in any particular order I am just trying to make sure I don’t miss any costs because I do not want you, my very dear young Muslim brothers and sisters, to have to suffer the consequences of paying so much more in the future than you ever expected to pay for taking some forbidden but temporary pleasure now.
- We will start with one of the really ugly costs, disease. Promiscuity (sleeping around) can lead to a wide range of very nasty diseases. The effects of these diseases can go from simple pain and discomfort, to disfigurement, to other lifelong diseases such as cancer, to the inability to have children, and even to painful lingering death. For example, did you know that females who have slept with three or more people over a lifetime are 15 times more likely to get cervical cancer than those who didn’t? Weigh these facts highly as you make decisions about relationships before marriage.
- Another cost is divorce. In Islam it is expected a married couple will stay married forever and enjoy their family life till they die. This is the way Allah wants it to be for our greatest happiness. The reality is that couples who engage in sex before marriage are many times more likely to divorce.
- This is a sad cost, adultery. The more relationships you have before marriage, the more likely you are to commit adultery after marriage, and so is the person you marry. No good marriage can tolerate adultery, adultery is certain to cause great unhappiness to the married couple and to destroy the good family life necessary for the development of a right society. But, isn’t it logical that if you don’t follow the rules about having sex before marriage that you are not very likely to follow the rules about having sex after marriage.
- Many young Muslim girls never expected such things as unwed motherhood, unwanted children, and abortion to enter their lives, but those terrible things do sometimes happen when you have wrong relationships; they happen much more often than anyone wants to admit. Unwed pregnancy, how would you like to tell your parents about this one? Even worse, you would be bringing a child into the world and this child may be very unwanted, are you going to be able to care for this child and the sacred soul Allah has placed within that child? Or what about an abortion, not only is that likely to be committing a great sin, but you would be killing a new human being growing within you. Does it make you feel sad to think about this? It makes me sad.
- Here are some depressing statistics about suicide. Sexually active boys are more than twice as likely to have depression and almost ten times more likely to attempt suicide than boys who wait until marriage. Teenage girls who have premarital sex are three times more likely to have depression than girls who aren’t sexually active. Also, teenage girls who are sexually active are about three times more likely to attempt suicide than those who aren’t sexually active. See what I mean about being depressing?
- You could end up being a (well I won’t say that word), let’s just say you could end up being very promiscuous. What did you expect? The decision to have sex the first time is probably the hardest, but once you have done it I’m sure it must get easier to do the second time, and third, and forth, and so on until you are no longer counting. Oh please don’t get to that point. By the way, know for sure what I am saying here applies to boys just as much as to girls. Islam is about equality and boys and girls are most definitely equally responsible to keep themselves away from wrong relationships and pure for marriage.
- So you only did it because you were totally sure you were going to marry him or her, so why wait. Too bad; statistics show people who have sex with each other before marriage usually don’t end up marrying each other.
- Some people believe that you have to have lots of practice to get good at sex and if you are not already good at sex before you marry you will have a second rate love life when married. Well, contrary to that popular belief, studies show those who do choose to wait for sex until marriage are not doomed to a second-class sex life at all. Instead they usually have significantly higher levels of sexual satisfaction and marital contentment. I guess nothing is so romantic and erotic as having a marriage partner who has never experienced those most intimate moments with anyone but you. Seems reasonable to me!
- Some people say sex isn’t really a big deal; people just make a big deal about it. They would say that having a ‘wrong’ sexual relationship isn’t a very wrong thing to do, if wrong at all it is just a tiny wrong. Well personally I trust the word of Allah not the opinion of some teen boy or girl with highly active hormones affecting their judgment. This is what Allah has to say about fornication (the technically correct name for illegal sexual intercourse).
“Those who invoke not, with Allah, any other god, nor slay such life as God has made sacred, except for just cause, nor commit fornication; and any that does this (not only) meets punishment (but) the Penalty on the Day of Judgment will be doubled to him, and he will dwell therein in ignominy.”
In this verse from the Qur’an, the sin of fornication is given its seriousness by being ranked as follows: the most major sin of all is associating partners with Allah Most High (shirk); the second most major sin is murder; and the third most major sin is fornication. And if you are interested in what Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) had to say about fornication we have this, “The one who commits illegal sexual intercourse is not a believer at the time of committing illegal sexual intercourse.” I would say wrong sexual intercourse is not some small wrong, but is actually a very, very major wrong. Don’t forget, the crime of zina (illegal sexual intercourse) is one of the very few offences that Allah has considered so important that He has prescribed a specific punishment, in this case it was, and still is, one hundred strokes of the cane.
- Then there are those who want to say sex can’t be wrong because it is so much fun, and anything that is as much fun as sex couldn’t possibly be wrong. Well, I have to say that fun is most definitely not a good measure of what is right or wrong. Do you think that shaitan (Satan) is going to try to lead you away from the path of goodness and right by offering only things you don’t like? No, of course he is going to make going against the Will of Allah seem like fun. Shaitan tries to prevent people from knowing and accepting Allah’s truth and gaining eternity in Paradise by distracting them with sin that is fun. For those who are Muslim, he will attempt to turn them away from Allah. One method shaitan uses quite successfully is to make people feel unworthy because of the sin they committed to have fun. Once you feel unworthy of Allah it is much easier to turn away from Him.
- There are still others who want to claim sex can’t be wrong because it is natural (and of course sex is natural, but for humans only when done rightly, which means in the beautiful marriage relationship). To prove that all sex is natural, they give examples of wild animals, like monkeys, who have all kinds of sex all over the place with no inhibitions. They attempt to degrade human beings to the level of wild animals, and then justify their deeds by finding examples of free sexual behaviour in the animal world. They are, in the Qur’anic expression, “like cattle, nay they are more astray; they are the heedless ones.” (Al A’araf 7: 179).One of the purposes of Islam is to establish that we are not animals, and to put us on the right path so that we will not behave like animals. This certainly weakens the “all sex is natural because animals do it” argument. And, wouldn’t you rather act like a God-centered, spiritual human being than an animal? I know I would.
- Sometimes young Muslims, who sincerely do not intend to stray from the right path as far as having a sexual relationship, justify their boyfriend/girlfriend relationships by this noble intention of abstinence. Unfortunately studies have shown that the more time a couple spends alone together, the more likely they are to wind up in bed! And that is true even if they begin with the firmest intention of abstinence. Best not to believe you can resist temptation if you are given too much opportunity.
- Do you think you can be involved in a wrong boy and girl relationship, particularly if it includes sex, and keep being a good Muslim? Can you pray and fast with sincerity and carry on an unlawful sexual relationship? I think that might not be possible. Going against the Will of Allah in a matter so important as sex means that you will be more likely to go against the Will of Allah in other matters also, possibly eventually leaving Islam. How terrible for your life, how terrible for the whole Muslim Ummah, we could possibly lose the benefits of Islam for the whole world just because some could not wait for the pleasures of sex until it is made right for them after marriage. What a huge price to pay.
- Then of course there is the price you could end up paying for eternity. What if on Judgment Day the price you must pay for your wrong relationships and unlawful sexual behaviour is that you are sent to Hellfire instead of to Paradise? Some young Muslims give little thought to Judgment Day, but we know Judgment Day is certain and everything will happen exactly the way we have been told by Allah through revelation. Consider how you would feel then. It would indeed be an awesome mistake to not take this possibility with all the necessary seriousness.
This list could go on forever so I will make this the last, but it involves something so very special, so very precious, that even without all the other costs this one alone makes wrong relationships between boys and girls, young men and young women, far too high a price to pay. This cost involves the relationship between husband and wife in marriage. InshaAllah, you will be married for a very long time and of course you want that married relationship to be very special and very wonderful in every way. But the reality is that any relationships you have with members of the opposite sex before marriage chip away some of what should make the relationship between husband and wife so exquisitely special. Allah wanted to make the marriage relationship so very special that married couples would care so deeply for each other that neither partner would ever want to stray through adultery or separate through divorce. It should be the most wonderful worldly relationship possible. The more a married couple has to share exclusively between themselves, the more special and unique the relationship, in particular the sexual relationship, in a marriage becomes. So the reason that relationships before marriage make your husband or wife less special to you is that to some degree whatever has been done with others before makes your marriage partner just one more in the line of persons who have shared that part of the relationship with you which should have been held as a trust for the one you marry. By not waiting for that special moment when you first marry you make that special moment no longer special. This is true of all aspects of relationships before marriage, but it is of particular importance for that most special of all parts of the marriage relationship, the sexual part. Sex is a precious gift from Allah. This gift can only be given away for the first time once. Wouldn’t this be a great gift for that one person who will be with you for the rest of your life?
I hope from this discussion of boy-girl relationships before marriage you are now better able to weigh what you get objectively against how much you have to give. Be honest with yourself, can you really say it is worth it? It seems the benefits of waiting until marriage are so great that no other possible choice should be possible.
Beyond the Limits – Allah’s Mercy Awaits You
Because some of you who read this may have already gone beyond what is right in Islam, I don’t want to scare you into believing that now you have no chance at all for a happy, successful marriage. A good marriage is still possible, but sadly, less likely. So if you have already lost the opportunity to make your marriage the most special it could possibly be by waiting to partake in the rights of marriage, then you should immediately begin doing what ever you can to make your chances for a successful marriage as good as possible. You should of course, no matter what has happened so far, repent sincerely to Allah, and promise Him and yourself with total sincerity that you will do all you can from this point on to steal no more from the ‘special’ nature of your future marriage. And, you should be prepared after marriage to treat the one you marry with an extra degree of love, tenderness, and kindness far beyond anything you have ever experienced before.
Please know that I have absolutely no doubt that the limits of boy-girl relationships before marriage set by Allah are correct and offer by far the best way to ensure a happy and successful marriage. But, I understand very well the pressures of the modern world, and pressures from peers, upon young Muslims, so I am going to do something I wish I did not have to do. I am going to suggest, for those who for whatever reason can not or will not follow the way of life Allah has made lawful for you, an alternative that, while not right, will still protect you and your future marriage from the most severe effects of the harm that could come from wrong relationships.
First let me suggest a common pattern of how boy-girl relationships can get started and how they can go so wrong. In almost everything we do we don’t jump right in at the final behaviour in its fullness, we move in a series of small steps. Possible likely steps in the development of a wrong relationship could be as follows: you see someone of the opposite sex at school that you feel some attraction to; one day you smile at that person; next you might say hello to the one you like; then you might start talking regularly with that person; then you might let the person know you like them; then you might become good friends; then you might become sort of a couple; then you might arrange a date; then you might become boyfriend and girlfriend; then you might arrange to meet alone somewhere; you might hold hands; you might hug and kiss; the kissing might become more intimate; there might be some wrong touching, sexual but not yet intercourse; then you might end up going all the way to illegal sexual intercourse; then you might do it again and again, maybe changing partners; then you might begin to suffer the most harmful of consequences. It makes me very sad to think this could happen to any of my very dear young Muslim brothers and sisters, but I am sure you know it is happening to some.
I really badly don’t want your lives ruined by this increasingly common pattern of behaviours that lead to the most wrong of boy-girl relationships. So I offer the following as a suggestion to those who for whatever reason choose not to live according to the Will of Allah. To those wonderful young Muslims who have been, and are, able to follow rightly the commands of Allah I am indeed most pleased and may Allah give you extra Blessings. You do not need what I am about to suggest, just continue to live Islam in its purest form.
A Dangerous Suggestion
For those who still choose to stray from Allah’s commands, I say this to you; take some of the pleasure of the boy-girl relationship, but do not take so much that it harms you in the worst ways. To do this you have to set some limit as to how far you will go in the wrong boy-girl relationship. As I look at the likely steps in the progression of relationships I see that there is a natural point where the risk of harm, particularly leading to the greatest harm, becomes clear. In that progressive sequence in the development of wrong relationships the point where you become at risk of greatest harm is when you agree to meet and be alone. Remember earlier in this discussion, “studies have shown that the more time a couple spends alone together, the more likely they are to wind up in bed.”
What I am suggesting is that if you cannot or are not willing to do what is right and best then at least keep to a limit that will minimize the harm to you and to your future marriage. If you set the absolute limit at only those parts of the boy-girl relationship that can take place if you are never ever to be alone together you can still have quite a bit of the fun and pleasure of having as a friend a member of the opposite sex you like a lot, talking to them, and even being some sort of couple. Actually this is a lot. The fact that many of our wonderful young Muslims, who have friendships with a member of the opposite sex, do sincerely have the intention of abstinence makes the commitment to never be alone together all the more likely to be effective. Still you are stealing some part of what is special and should ideally be held only until after marriage, but you are retaining the most intimately precious parts until they can be experienced rightly with the one you marry.
Remember, this can only work if that limit of never being alone together is totally absolute. To make sure this limit is never passed it must be understood that no person in the relationship would ever even suggest in any manner at all to the other that they should meet in a way that allows them to be alone together. Make sure right from the beginning that the person you like understands how strongly you feel about this matter, and that they feel the same. If your friend were even to suggest meeting alone this should be sufficient evidence that the person you liked is not a right person to have a relationship with; and, you should be completely willing to end a relationship with anyone who would care so little about harming you and your whole future just to satisfy their selfish needs. For this plan to work it is critical that the Ummah around you, your Muslim peers, feel so deeply concerned about this matter that they would not only look very unfavourably on those who chose to be alone together, but also on anyone who would even suggest being alone together. This has to become an unbreakably strong social taboo. All must understand that, “No, it is NOT cool!”
What I have suggested is clearly not right according to Islam, but I feel the circumstances of today’s world require me to offer you an alternative that is outside the limits of Allah’s command. I do this in hopes that by offering this alternative to a greater wrong you can be protected against the greatest harm, and that this can be an early step in the progression toward a future Muslim Ummah where no alternatives are needed and ALL young Muslims fully follow Islam, the way of life made right for us by Allah. So if you decide against the command of Allah to still have a boyfriend or girlfriend but never ever be alone together don’t do it thinking what you are doing is right, do it knowing what you are doing is still wrong; and, plan to do what is the right Islamic way as soon as your iman (faith and pious desire to do what is right) is ready for that change. Do it only because you know a small harm is better than a great harm, while no harm at all is always the very best.
The Path to Paradise?
Because feelings of love and desire are so strong more acknowledgement must be given to the powerful need to be part of a couple that is being felt by both young Muslim boys and girls. No one should doubt that these feelings are very real and completely natural; by natural I mean Allah has placed those feelings within all human beings. Allah has prepared boys and girls both physically and mentally to be ready to bond as a permanent couple through marriage with a member of the opposite sex at quite a young age. That age is probably about 16-18 years old.
Please do not misunderstand, I am not by any means saying that all or even most young Muslims who fall into that young age range are emotionally ready for marriage. I am saying that under the right circumstances virtually all could be ready; but, in today’s world I would say very few are actually emotionally ready. This presents a significant problem for young Muslims because in most nations of the developed world, and increasingly in the developing world, the average age for marriage has now become about 25-30 years old. This means that after Allah has prepared you for love and marriage you might have to wait another ten or fifteen more years to partake of those most wonderful pleasures.
Waiting ten or more years after you have been made ready for a loving relationship with a member of the opposite sex to finally experience that relationship is an awesome task to contemplate. This alone might be one of the many reasons some young Muslims today are finding it so difficult to obey the limits placed by Allah and end up in boy-girl relationships beyond that which is known to be right. How hard it must be in today’s pleasure oriented world to live conscientiously by what Allah has said is right for all those years while feeling the powerful natural desires for love He has placed within you. This effort would be made even more difficult by knowing that many of the world’s non-Muslim youth are uncaringly partaking of these pleasures, and even some of your Muslim friends and peers might have boyfriends and girlfriends.
Young Muslims for over a thousand years had been able to resist the temptations of a relationship with the opposite sex beyond the limits set by Allah. To understand why that was so we must understand how all aspects of human consciousness and behaviour are conditioned by the influences of the environment we grow up in. In the past the temptation of a loving relationship with a member of the opposite sex before marriage, while still alluring, was combined with a wide range of very powerful social influences almost invariably saying that to have any relationship with a member of the opposite sex outside of marriage was so terribly and intolerably wrong that it would be virtually inconceivable to do such a thing. In today’s increasingly Godless world the temptation of a loving relationship with a member of the opposite sex before marriage has virtually none of those very powerful social influences saying that to have any relationship with a member of the opposite sex outside of marriage is terribly and intolerably wrong, but today’s secular world does provide an untold number of seemingly plausible reasons, justifications, and inducements encouraging young Muslims to indulge in just such wrongful boy-girl relationships.
Given these are the realities our dear Muslim youth face today I am going to make one more suggestion that could help keep the wondrously beautiful institution of marriage pure and innocent as Allah intended. I am relieved to say that this suggestion is well within the limits placed by Allah, although it is not within the prevailing cultural practices of the modern world. Since Allah has prepared young Muslims for love and marriage at a very young age, and for much of the history of Islam marriage has taken place at a young age, maybe we should return to that practice today. If Allah prepares us for marriage at a young age doesn’t it seem right we should marry at a young age? If young Muslims only had to wait a year or two after the time that Allah prepared them mentally and physically for marriage, rather than to wait the seemingly interminable ten to fifteen years that modern culture dictates, might not virtually all Muslim youth be willing and able to restrain themselves from coupling until that intimate love is made right for them by marriage?
My dear young Muslim brothers and sisters, upon reading this suggestion please do not rush out planning to get married at a very tender age. To make early marriage work will be no easy task. At the time when Muslims married at a young age we had a much more right Islamic society for those marriages to flourish in. The social conditions and influences in today’s world are definitely aligned against successful young marriage. If we wish to reintroduce marriage at an early age for young Muslims we must do everything we can to ensure a society conducive to making those youthful marriages successful.
Making the Impossible Possible
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could resolve the problem of young Muslims straying from what Allah has allowed in relationships with the opposite sex by simply reintroducing youthful marriage, which has traditionally been accepted within Islam? I have thought long and hard over this matter and I have not been able to come up with any other viable solution to the multifaceted problem of Muslim youth disobeying the command of Allah to participate in wrongful relationships with the opposite sex other than reinstituting early marriage as the norm within our ummah.
If we are going to suggest early marriage as the solution to the relationship difficulties facing Muslim youth then we must do everything within our power to help ensure the success of those early marriages. I see two important hurdles which must be overcome in order to give early Muslim marriages any real chance for success. There will be other difficulties to be sure, but if we can find a solution for these two then we will be well on our way toward making happy and successful early marriage among Muslim youth an achievable accomplishment. The first prerequisite for success will be to find some way to make sure that young Muslims make the right choice of a marriage partner. The second precondition for success would be to find some way to make sure that the young Muslim married couples do not succumb to the tremendous burden of financial stress during those delightful but fragile beginning stages of married life.
We must get over the widely accepted idea that so-called ‘love marriages’ are somehow more desirable than marriages arranged for good Islamic purposes. That is a completely untrue belief that has been wrongly conditioned into the minds of many young Muslims by the powerful influences of a Godless decadent culture. Young Muslims must come to realize the full meaning and deep truths behind the much repeated cliché, ‘love is blind’. Most young Muslims would have no idea at all how incredibly and exceedingly blind love can be. When the heart experiences love the eyes and the mind can become totally oblivious to the most obvious of faults.
Although arranged marriages have recently fallen well out of fashion, they really did have a lot going for them. There is no question of the reality that arranged marriages have generally been happier, more successful, and long lasting. There are many logical reasons for this. First and foremost among the reasons is the obvious fact that parents will have a much more objective perception of the overall suitability of the prospective marriage partner for their son or daughter. Even if modern Muslim youth do not want to give their parents complete responsibility for choosing a good marriage partner for them, they should at least have a wholehearted acceptance of the fact that they must never marry the person they choose for themselves without the unqualified approval of their parents. To refuse their parents full right of approval would indeed be to court disaster.
The other crucially important circumstance that must be taken into consideration is the financial situation. In many cases youth in their late teens will either be going on for further education or they will not be able to have access to employment that provides sufficiently for the financial needs of the young married couple. It is only right if we want to successfully reintroduce marriage at a young age that Muslim parents, relatives, and Islamic society all be prepared with a generous, loving heart to help the young married couples financially to the degree that money never becomes a hindrance to a happy and successful marriage.
If done rightly and with sincerity the return to youthful marriage within our Muslim Ummah could provide other benefits besides helping to ensure right relationships and loving marriage for future generations. It could help reinforce the traditionally strong Muslim family relationships as generations work together helping their children have happy and successful marriages. It could vastly increase the feeling of love and appreciation by Muslim youth for their parents and their extended family relationships. It could bring the attention of our ummah to the fact that the original practices of Islamic life according to the limits set by Allah are indeed still the very best way to live, even in the hectic modern world. It might motivate our Muslim Ummah to work ever harder to help transform the very wrong society of today’s world into a much more right Islamic society as we attempt to provide the best possible social environment that can nurture our most dear Muslim youth as they strive to have happy and successful Islamic marriages. And importantly, it could help protect young Muslims, during the often perilous university years, from harmful social influence and participation in wrong activities, and at the same time it would likely focus their minds more fully on their studies, their family, and their future.
All’s Well That Ends Well
It is my prayer that in this short, but reasonably insightful, discussion of boy-girl relationships, sexual behaviour, and marriage that I have been able to help you make right decisions in this most important area of your life. Please do not ever do something that can hurt you in a way that you can never fully recover from. I love all of you and care about all of you so very much that any harm that comes to you or your life hurts me also. You very dear young Muslims are the future of the Ummah; you are the future of Islam in our world. By following Allah’s commands you can now help ensure a wonderful married life for yourself and your future family, and at the same time you can be part of a new generation of Muslims who refuse the worldly influences that take so many from the beauty and rightness of Islam and do your part to make right all the wrongs of the world. The world of the future can be a virtual Paradise on Earth. This is the destiny offered us by Allah.
The author returned to Allah’s rahmah on 29 April 2006 – a few months after completing the above article. In fact he did not get the chance of viewing this work when the printing of a small booklet of the above article was completed just a few days after his demise.
Allahyarham Brother Muhammad Al’Mahdi (as he was fondly called) would have been 69 years old this Thursday, 5th April. May Allah shower His Mercy upon his ruh.
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Boy gets 20 stitches after 3 dogs attack him
SUNGAI PETANI: A boy received 20 stitches on his left calf after he was attacked by three hungry dogs while playing football at a public field in Sungai Lalang here on Friday.
Muhammad Nabil Amin Abdul Wahab, 10, was keeping goal during the game at Taman Bandar Baru’s public field when he was attacked from behind by the three dogs in the 6pm incident.
He said his friends ran helter skelter upon seeing the dogs but he could not run because his right foot was hurt.
“At that time, I saw a dog open its mouth wide and seize my left leg. I screamed for help but no one came. A dog was on top of me while two others were near my head,” he told reporters when met at the Sultan Abdul Halim Hospital (HSAH) here, Saturday.
He said, nevertheless, he was lucky because he was saved by a customer having tea at a nearby restaurant who saw his hands flailing about in distress.
Muhammad Nabil was sent to HSAH for treatment and was discharged Saturday. He was given one-week medical leave.
Meanwhile, his mother Nor Azila Osman, 29, said Muhammad Nabil had not fully recovered from an injury on his right foot after stepping on a piece of glass while playing on the same field, and had not gone to the field for a week.
Nor Azila said such incidents often took place in the housing area, including last month when a primary school girl was bitten by a dog on the way home from school. – Bernama